breaking relationship habits

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why wear my heart on my sleeve when it looks so good in your hand

because… its still true.
habits. we all have them. some good for us, some bad. either way, they become part of us. who we are, how we identify ourselves. how we distinguish our selves from others, part of the pieces that make us up.
the process of letting go of a habit, or breaking that habit, is interesting, and difficult. bad habits are difficult to break for quite a few reasons. i mean most of the time if you analyze a bad habit youll find that rationally you do not want to be involved in that habit. cigarettes, alcohol, bad decision making, biting your nails. i mean on paper they are bad things for you. however…that bad habit- it becomes part of you. and letting that part of you go, no matter how bad it is, is difficult. its like losing part of your identity. being no longer able to identify with something that was such apart of you, something you did, someone you were.
breaking up with someone is similar to breaking a bad habit. there comes a point where you look at the situation rationally. ok, we are not meant to be for a, b and c reasons. but longing, and caring, and missing become habits that we fall into. we create the habit of wondering what they are doing, of thinking that they are great, smart, attractive, and kind. and it becomes part of a daily routine. to miss, to wonder, to long. and then that habit becomes part of who we are as a person. part of our identity. so rationally- its over. ‘we’ will not be for a, b, and c reasons. but breaking that habit is a whole nother emotional story.
letting go of a bad habit is still letting go of part of yourself. part of yourself that makes no sense, that is unhealthy. but its something you identified with. whether you identify as someone who longs for another or as the boyfriend or girlfriend we often tend to hold on to these ‘identifiers’ much longer than we actually need to get over the relationship or breakup because they become habit. and habits are just hard to break. 21 days, they say.

you keep twisting the truth that keeps me thrown askew. red wine and cigarettes…hide your bad habits underneath the patio

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