…meet me there, in the blue…
so my last post, and more importantly its comments, have been running through my head this week at a marathon rate. and believe i am ready to flesh out what these theories, thoughts, and insights mean a little more thoroughly.
so, yea, i think there are two different schools of thought when it comes to straight guys and female friends. but im gonna go out on a limb and give those guys who fall into Kim’s physical sex only category a little more benefit of the doubt. and NC’s comment, on being the expert of all things feminine- brilliantly said. and lastly, the anonymale- thank you for the call out. sometimes we do need attention, and sometimes, some of us over and inappropriately do it. so everyone has valuable but possibly opposing info to provide, but… how does it all fit together to make describe what we actually experience?
so i guess i’ll start with the revelation that i had while thinking about all of my past relationships. every single one of them, the real ones, the boyfriend/girlfriend level ones, started as friends. so, what kind of layers does that add into the complex issue of friends of the opposite sex? a new million different ways to analyze now. for sake of argument- does it mean that i am actually in the opposite sex friendships that i am for sex? nah, because that’s just not who i am or how i work. but this leads directly into anonymale’s point… i feel like maybe we jumped to the conclusion too early that the guys are usually the ones in it for sex or alternative motives other than pure platonic friendship. so, girls need attention. i’m going make a large generalization here (which i normally despise doing), but i feel confident that it will be received well… since we females are generally less willing, able, and eager to sleep with someone as our male counterparts are – maybe attention is our ulterior motive for opposite sex friendships. some of us need, like, and obtain average and appropriate levels of attention through our friends of the opposite sex, and some of us demand awkward and very high levels of attention from our guy friends. just as some guys can appropriately value and embrace their female friends, and some are, well… “just waiting in line to sleep with them”
ok. so where do i fall into this mix? i mean i have identified what i love about my guy friends. it it what it is. i mean we deal with things and move on, emotionally and physically. but, i’ll admit, quite tactlessly, how true NC’s comment is about being regarded as an expert on all things feminine. and i guess for me, for lack of a better phrase- i get off on this part of my guyfriendships more than normal girls probably do… because of my totally weird and all consuming obsession with relationships in general.
so ultimately, it is unfair of me to take one sentence (“because they are all waiting in line to sleep with her!”) and warp speed jump to the conclusion that this is as uncomplex an issue as that.
balance. female-male. friendship-sex. attention-expertise. …. i mean, let’s face it-we’re all just looking for perspective… and who better to provide it than our opposites? who cares if it comes in the form of needing attention, or sex, or being an expert on girly things, on feeling valued as a female, or being seen as sexy, or liking a go with the flow kinda gal to hang with, or wanting to sleep with someone you enjoy spending time with….
i guess i’ll address the brewing and spiraling thoughts on my past relationships starting with friendship and where this fits into my guy friend abundant life another time….