it feels like love love love, and it feels like touch touch touch 

so the macking game is interesting. and completely different for men and women, boy and girls. and apparently i have no game. in the literal and metaphorical way. because almost two weeks ago i decided that, just for sport, i would consciously get my mack on, if you will. i decided to get back into the game just to see how it goes. and to have fun, and get some attention and you know… be flirty. cause it’s fun. so i thought. 

the concept is fun, until i realized that i apparently have no game. i never thought it something i needed. i talk and laugh, a lot, and loudly. and that is usually enough to get some flirtations going (and equals zero effort because its, uhhh just who i am). but a few times recently i have set out with my boys on a quest of getting my mack on. to see if i could. and my boys mack their shit. and i go home in a cab alone. (which is fine by me, don’t think i’d want my mackee to be in the cab with me anyway) 

the point. instead of a full on mack session, it seems like i often just become the awkward third (or fifth) wheel in the situation. and im not sure why. well, i have some thoughts. Continue reading →

we barely have time to react in this world, let alone rehearse…

so, i hate to say it. but i think some of you may know- i’m, uh, skeptical of social media sites and our twenty/thirty something dating lives. it’s just so new. and we are most certainly in a societal paradigm shift when it comes it relationships, marriage and dating. but this morning i was overwhelmed with excitement when i read the comment on my last post. and boom it hit me. the positive side of this gathering of information. 

i’ve clearly decided that taking relationships slowly is the way  for me (and honestly, all of us, hooking up is like poison on actual relationships…but more on that later). and i know i need to take relationships slowly, and become friends with someone first, but there is just allllll this information out there. and we have ideas in our head of what our partner should and will be. and we can find out about others and their standing in out perfect mate outline by searching them on social media sites. and though i’m still totally in need of holding my self accountable for not stalking boys i may be interested in… i have a new perspective on this. 

one thing i have noticed about getting older and dating (and so has the academic community!) is that we seem to want the perfect mate more than ever, yet we don’t necessarily want to do all the things that attract or create the perfect mate. such as get to know them before hooking up, not meet at a bar, take things slowly and so forth. so i see a lot of my friends in this weird stage of dating- old enough to have one or two really serious relationships in their past, not wanting to get into ‘that‘ again unless it’s with the right person so they are going out, drinking, having a good time meeting a guy/girl and hooking up and maybe continuing to see that person, knowing that they are not the ‘one.’ and ‘just wanting to have fun’ until the right one just happens to appear (uh, sorry, not that easy). so, what i’m trying to say- we go out, find someone at the bar to play the game with, flirt, hook up, and get the attention we are in need of. all while waiting for mr/s. right. Continue reading →